Faken Bacon

Yesterday, before going to work, I had a lunch date with my partner. I later described this meal to my coworkers as our Kindergarten Lunch Time. We made grilled cheese sandwiches in a waffle iron and played along with the interactive Super Readers TV show on PBS. The only thing I think that could have made the lunch even better is if we had had bacon in our sandwiches. Well, maybe bacon wasn't the only thing. You see, I foresee a long and happy future with this woman, a future filled with all kinds of wonderful lunches, but my right to a recognized commitment of the nature my parents used to have, is not acknowledged. I can't get married, not to my partner, not to any woman.

So for me, getting married is like eating bacon.

I know that I can survive without it, and part of me knows that I really shouldn't want it. And yet, I still do. I've looked into substitutes, like civil unions, turkey bacon, (or just plain not eating meat,) but it's not the same. While there are certain recipes when the replacement works just as fine as the original, there are always going to be times that only the real deal will do. And, there will always be the bottom line--the original just tastes better.

The question of the bottom line though is where we get sidetracked. America is so juiced up over the "why"--Why does 'real' bacon taste better?--that we don't see this is a red herring. All anyone needs to understand is that pig bacon and turkey bacon are different things, and therefore, not equal, right? Our Supreme Court already decided decades ago in the other civil rights struggle that separate but equal is inherently unfair. And yes, I'm waiting for all the fuddy-duds to come out of the cupboards and tell me that Life isn't Fair, that the World isn't Fair. Well, thank you Mr Dud, I do realize this. However, just because something is unfair doesn't mean that I should settle for it.  Furthermore, when we are engaging in conversations about 'equality and justice for all'--about human rights and citizens' rights--we, in fact, are obligated not to settle for anything but fair.

So, when I watched 20 or so NY Senators yesterday, stand up, one-by-one and speak (overwhelmingly in favor) of marriage equality for same-sex[and gender] couples for two and a half hours, only to be flash frozen by the five minute roll call that destroyed the bill by eight votes, I couldn't help but be rubbed by the idea that here, even in NY state, I am not allowed to buy real bacon. Or at least, it's not available in any of the stores I'm allowed to shop. And this fact is enough to make me steam my way up to Albany and give them  a little 'what for.' But in the end, whether NY state passes a marriage bill that allows the option to get married, my eyes will still be looking toward DC. Because I know that even if NY allows me to marry--and it would be an awesome appetizer--the real happy meal will be a federal law that allows me to have married rights, should I choose to get married, no matter what state I live in. Anything less is just another substitute.